Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002)

Movie Title: Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

Year Released: 2002

Rated: PG

Runtime: 2h 22min

Genre: Action, Adventure, Fantasy

Director: George Lucas

Writer: George Lucas and Jonathan Hales

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Christopher Lee, Samuel L. Jackson, Frank Oz, Ian McDiarmid, Pernilla August, Temuera Morrison, Jimmy Smits, Jack Thompson, Leeanna Walsman, Ahmed Best, Rose Byrne, Oliver Ford Davies, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker

Review: A decade has passed since their initially meeting, and now Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) and Padmé (Natalie Portman) have been reunited and sparks begin to fly, but it is forbidden. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) investigates an assassination attempt on the senator and discovers the creation of a secret clone army. Sounds exciting, right? WRONG!!! 'Attack of the Clones' is a bad movie, in every sense of the word. And not good bad. It's overlong, the dialogue is laughable, the actors look like they either don't know what's happening or they want to be somewhere else, much like the audience, but the worst part is it's boring! Star Wars and boring should never exist together. They can be bad, but not boring. It takes almost 45 minutes for Anakin and Padmé to melodramatically over-explain that their love is forbidden and that they shouldn't be together. That would be fine, but the script, acting, direction, and the chemistry of the two actors is so bad that you couldn't care less. And the last 40 minutes is just lightsabers, lasers, and explosions, but I couldn't understand what it the hell was happening or why. The whole time I just felt bad for Ewan McGregor. He's just too good. Now I thought that the Phantom Menace was bad, but compared to this almost two and a half hours of awful that I'll never get back, it's like finding two prizes in your Cracker Jack box. This movie is hot garbage. Stay away. Far, far away...

Stars (out of 4):

Fun Fact: This was the last "Star Wars" film to be released on VHS.


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