Cyborg (1989)

Movie Title: Cyborg

Year Released: 1989

Rated: R

Runtime: 1h 26min

Genre: Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Director: Albert Pyun

Writer: Albert Pyun

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Deborah Richter, Vincent Klyn, Alex Daniels, Dayle Haddon, Blaise Loong, Ralf Moeller, Haley Peterson, Terrie Batson, Jackson 'Rock' Pinckney

Review: A deadly virus - no, not COVID-19! - has thrust the world into chaos. Again, not COVID-19! But all may not be lost when a cyborg holds the key to a cure. Can she make it to Atlanta safely with the help of a heroic stranger (Jean-Claude Van Damme) or will she fall victim to a band of pestilent pirates? Prepare for the post-apocalyptic cult classic Cyborg!

Who knew that the post-apocalypse could be so boring? Cyborg was the last official theatrical release for the gloriously bad Cannon Films and it's very easy to see why... this action movie works better and faster than a sleeping pill. What an uneventful snoozefest!

Van Damme does what he can by punching and kicking his way through Road Warrior rejects, but it's not very exciting or entertaining. And for the majority of the runtime, Van Damme and his "sidekick" (Deborah Richter) literally run from the villains without a bit of tension. It becomes rather repetitious with the movie playing out with run, chase, fight, flashback, rinse, repeat. And it does that at the very least three or four times, I think. I did doze off for a bit, but that never stopped me from knowing what was going on in the least.

The villain is not interesting and gets kicked a lot by our kick-crazy hero. Oh, and everyone and everything in this movie is filthy dirty. Even after our lead characters go for a swim they are immediately sweaty-dirty. Get these people a shower, some wet wipes - something!

Cyborg definitely has its fans thanks to VHS and repeated late-night reruns, which I how I first saw it, but I'd steer clear of this one. There are plenty of better Van Damme vehicles available (Bloodsport) for your viewing pleasure. I did enjoy this when I was much younger, but this time around I needed a kick from a mule, soccer player, or from Van Damme himself, to keep me awake and interested.

Cyborg... more like Cybored!

Stars (out of 4):

Fun Fact: This was the last official theatrical release for Cannon Films after going bankrupt in 1987.


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