Shrek the Third (2007)

Movie Title: Shrek the Third

Year Released: 2007

Rated: PG

Runtime: 1h 33min


Director: Chris Miller, Raman Hui

Writer: Jeffrey Price, Peter S. Seaman, Chris Miller, and Aron Warner

Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Julie Andrews, John Cleese, Rupert Everett, Eric Idle, Justin Timberlake, Susanne Blakeslee, Cody Cameron, Larry King, John Krasinski, Ian McShane, Cheri Oteri, Regis Philbin, Amy Poehler, Seth Rogen, Maya Rudolph, Amy Sedaris,

Review: When his father-in-law dies, Shrek (Mike Myers), Donkey (Eddie Murphy), and Puss in Boot (Antonio Banderas), are on a quest to find the heir to the land of Far, Far Away, which they soon discover in the rebellious Artie (Justin Timberlake). Meanwhile, Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) battles Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) as he tries to take over the kingdom.

I'm a fan of both Shrek and Shrek 2, but I HATE Shrek the Third! This is a terrible movie. It's supposed to be a movie for kids and families to enjoy together. You're supposed to see these charming, likable characters and become part of the fun, heartwarming, and entertaining adventure they go on, but instead the third time is NOT the charm as we have to sit through awkward, unfunny scene after unfunny scene that deal with daddy issues, fear of fatherhood, dodging responsibility, and parents/grandparents dying for comedic effect.

Some of my fondest memories are watching an animated feature with my dad and suddenly having the seed planted in my mind that he never wanted me in the first place, then we got ice cream - Yay, Daddy! This movie is more for the adults and gets them questioning why them had kids in the first place. In the end, Shrek does love his kids, but for a 90 minute movie to show the lovable lug extra grumpy, angry, and fearful of his impending parenthood looming like a black cloud over him and this rather bland, boring quest, it's rather depressing and uncomfortable.

Then you have teenage Arthur (voiced by the adored Justin Timberlake). He's a whiny brat that is so unlikable that you don't care if he's gonna be king. He and Shrek argue and argue and argue... and that's about it. It's as if the majority of the characters in this movie are just cranky, bitter wet blankets that literally suck all of the fun out of an imaginative, clever fairy tale world... and you've paid to sit there and watch it. Sucks to be the audience! Oh, and the endlessly talented Eric Idle is utterly wasted as Merlin with misfired joke after misfired joke that the kids won't get and the adults won't laugh at. You don't waste Monty Python talent! That's just wrong in my book! And Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona has really nothing to do, even though she's having a baby, her dad has just died, and her family may lose their kingdom to the dashing mamma's boy Prince Charming (Rupert Everett).

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Don't watch this and also stay as far away as you can from Shrek Forever After. That one is an abysmal display of the screenwriters driving the final nail in the coffin of this once beloved franchise. I would rather be eaten by an ogre than watch either of those two horrendous sequels. Gross!

Stars (out of 4):

Fun Fact: Donkey and Dragon have five children: Coco, Debbie, Peanut, Parfait, and Bananas.


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