Movie Title: The Cottage
Director: Paul Andrew Williams
Writer: Paul Andrew Williams
Starring: Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith, Steve O'Donnell, Jennifer Ellison
Review: Kidnapper brothers David (Andy Serkis) and Peter (Reece Shearsmith) are quickly outsmarted by their loudmouth hostage, Tracey (Jennifer Ellison). She escapes into the woods, but it's not long before that is the least of their problems. Have you ever watched a movie where once the end credits roll, you sit and stare at the screen in bewilderment, wondering what in the heck you just watched? That is exactly what just happened here. The Cottage is crazy, unpredictable, and vulgar. There's everything from graphic blood, guts, and gore to a backwoods monster who is some kind of cross between Sloth from The Goonies and Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And did I mention this dude also collects trophies like the Predator (Predator, The Predator)? Andy Serkis and Jennifer Ellison's characters provide for quite a few laughs, while Reece Shearsmith's character came across as more of an annoyance than anything else. His incessant screaming, while funny at first, sort of lost it's luster after a while. For me, this movie was like a derailed train that had a hard time getting back on its tracks. The Cottage is both entertaining and confusing, in a way that it is so off the wall that you literally have no idea what could possibly come next. It's a B comedy/horror flick, and it's very clear from the outset that this movie is a joke and not meant to be taken seriously. If you're a fan of this type of movie, you'll probably love this film. If not, there's plenty of laughs to go around if you can block out some of the more distracting absurdities.
Fun Fact: The man with the dog who speaks to David when he goes to the village telephone Is Doug Bradley, better known as Pin-Head in the Hellraiser film franchise.