Celebrity Nooz: Age of Tomorrow

Age of Tomorrow (2014)

Movie Title: Age of Tomorrow

Year Released: 2014

Rated: Not Rated

Runtime: 1h 30min

Genre: Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Director: James Kondelik

Writer: Jacob Cooney and Bill Hanstock

Starring: Kelly Hu, Anthony Marks, Robert Picardo, Lane Townsend, Morgan West, Mitchell Shawn, Nick Stellate, Nicholas Alexander, Sarah Karijan, Joseph Price, Matt Mercer, Laura Alexandra Ramos, Jennifer Marshall, Taylor Coliee, Patrick Lazzara

Review: Here's the best way I can describe this movie...

When a giant asteroid is hurling towards Earth the human race must stop it from destroying the planet. But then it's actually revealed to be an alien invasion and a handful of people must fight to survive.

And then large silver spheres transport some of our heroes to the alien home world, which has breathable atmosphere for some reason, and must battle the aliens and then get captured and then escape and then get captured again and then introduced to the alien queen, for 10 whole seconds, who is making eggs for so inexplicable reason and then we never hear about that again.

And then when characters are wearing their space suits the helmets are completely fogged up so you can't see anyone's faces so you don't know who is doing what and you get totally confused and one of the alien's lasers blasts somebody's head off because "Why not?"

And then a fireman dad and the only four guys left on Earth, for budgetary reasons I'm guessing, search for his daughter who's getting chased by large alien spheres that fire 2 different lasers, a red death laser and a blue transportation laser because these invaders need some people to take back to their planet for reasons we are not made aware of and some folk just got to die.

And it goes on like this... Age of Tomorrow made my head hurt! It's as if the filmmakers, and I use that term very loosely, decided to rip off a different successful movie every 5 minutes and completely forget about anything that the last scene told us or plot points that were mentioned or traits that were established for characters, or it was done by "Yes, and..." which according to Wikipedia is a game in "improvisational comedy that suggests that a participant should accept what another participant has stated and then expand on that line of thinking." That's all the movie does for 90 frustrating minutes and then it ends without a resolution to anything or a satisfactory climax. I'm not sure if that was done on purpose with the intention of a sequel, which I'm calling Age of the Day After Tomorrow, or it was just laziness, or they couldn't think of anymore movies to rip off.

It's basically Armageddon, and then Independence Day, a little bit of Aliens, some Phantasm, a dash of Predator, and I'm sure a dozen more movies I'm forgetting because watching this warped my brain. I would rather endure a real alien invasion and all of the probing that goes with it than watch this again. Avoid it at all costs!

Stars (out of 4):

Fun Fact: Many people do not realize that this is an Asylum film. It is supposed to be a "mock-buster" of Edge of Tomorrow (2014).

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