Blood Monkey (2007)

Movie Title: Blood Monkey

Year Released: 2007

Rated: Not Rated

Runtime: 1h 28min

Genre: Action, Adventure, Horror, Thriller

Director: Robert Young

Writer: George LaVoo and Gary Dauberman

Starring: F. Murray Abraham, Matt Ryan, Amy Manson, Matt Reeves, Laura Aikman, Sebastian Armesto, Freishia Bomanbehram, Prapimporn Kanjunda,

Review: When six American college students are led into an African jungle by a mad professor (F. Murray Abraham), they soon become the main course for a group of undiscovered, killer chimpanzees. Can these students survive the horrors these vicious beasts pose or will nature show humankind who's really in charge? Welcome to the jungle, don't wander off the trail because you'll come face-to-face with the Blood Monkey!

First off, this movie is called Blood Monkey. Going in I was not expecting much, and that's exactly what I got during the runtime. This movie is not good. It's not so bad it's good. It's just bad. I will explain...

The students come off like kids getting ready for a spring break getaway filled with shenanigans and such, instead of go-getter academics going into the heart of a jungle to research wildlife and plant life that have yet to be seen by humans. And once they get to the jungle, these dummies just march thru the jungle for days and then set up camp, and occasionally get viciously murdered by unseen monstrous monkeys. And that's all that happens, which is fine, but this movie is just boring, stupid, repetitive, and not scary or exciting in the least! I was rooting for the monkeys the whole time! And the worst part is that it takes this almost 50 minutes of this 90 minute "borror" (it's a term I coined that combines "boring" and "horror", which describes this movie perfectly) movie for things to get going and let the protagonists know that there are killer monkeys around. So for almost an hour these reprehensibly unaware educated dunderheads do nothing but go on a nature hike, talk about how crazy the professor is, and that something doesn't feel right... for almost an hour... and then about 10 chimps start peeing all over their tents! Sure, why not! Turn the monkeys loose on the characters and the writers of this crappy creature feature!

The only fun part was watching F. Murray Abraham deliver over-the-top monologues about man and nature and how this discovery will make him the most famous person in the history of science. He was having a good time with it, and that was alright. But the rest... stunk like what chimps throw at you when you're at the zoo! Oh, Matt Ryan (Constantine: City of Demons (2018), Justice League Dark: Apokolips War (2020)) is good too, even though he doesn't have too much to do, but to become the leader of the scared students.

I'd rather have jungle rot than sit through this garbage again! Skip Blood Monkey, No, run from it! It's as bad as it sounds. Actually, it's worse.

Stars (out of 4):

Fun Fact: During the scene that the documentary crew is boarding the plane, the boom mic is visible on the reflection of Greg's sunglasses.


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