Celebrity Nooz: In The Spiders Web

In The Spider's Web (2007)

Movie Title: In The Spider's Web

Year Released: 2007

Rated: Not Rated

Runtime: 1h 30min

Genre: Adventure, Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Director: Terry Winsor

Writer: Gary Dauberman

Starring: Lance Henriksen, Emma Catherwood, Lisa Livingstone, Cian Barry, Sohrab Ardeshir, Mike Rogers, Michael Smiley, Jane Perry, Rajesh Latkar

Review: When a poisonous spider bites a backpacker, her friends seek help and discover a strange doctor (Lance Henriksen) carrying on a rather unorthodox medical practice. Soon they learn of his creepy-crawly intentions and must escape. But the real question is can our horrified heroes avoid hostile villagers, venomous spiders, and a murderous medical man before they find themselves trapped In The Spider's Web?

Oh, this was bad! The only reason I watched this stinker was because it had Lance Henriksen and Michael Smiley in it, and I got a copy of this creature feature at the dollar store. I kind of knew what to expect as I watched, but the movie kept surprising me as it went along. It surprised me with the script's ineptitude, shabby special effects, and unfocused direction. We are never introduced to the characters, except for Lance Henriksen's Dr. Lecorpus, so I have no one to root for, and for 25 minutes or so you aren't sure who the protagonist actually is. And by the time you figure it out, you don't care even a little. The CGI effects are laughable, especially when a character is covered in spiders and wrapped up in webbing. Hilariously and embarrassingly awful! And then the movie goes along without much of a plot and you're not sure if the doctor is making spider-people, feeding people to spiders, or breeding spiders - it's all rather confusing. Once the big secret is revealed it seems rather lame and not very practical or effective for where the movie is set.

The spiders are all over the map too! We have bad CGI like I mentioned, plus you have toy spiders on strings, plastic ones, and some that are the real deal - big, hairy, and creepy-crawly. Gross! The crew must have emptied out every Halloween store and pet shop of every spider they had - for better or worse.

By the third act I wasn't quite sure where this thing was going, but I'm not to certain the director did either. From scene to scene the movie seems to just do whatever they thought of that day. There's nothing to get invested in other than to see just how bad this thing is gonna get. And worst of all, I hate when good actors are wasted in crap like this, but I guess a job is a job.

Skip In The Spider's Web at all costs and watch good spider-themed horror flicks like Kingdom of the Spiders (1977), Arachnophobia (1990), and Eight Legged Freaks (2002). Or watch the "Spider" scene from Goodfellas on a loop - phenomenally better! And if you have a copy of In The Spider's Web like I do, please, put it in the garbage.

Stars (out of 4):

Fun Fact: Filming took place in Krabi, Thailand.

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